SHE TRIED TO MAKE EVERYTHING
It wasn’t always this way, Sophie had met her husband when they were very young, together they built his career until he became a household name. The epitome of success. Sophie became a mum and worked very hard to keep their family, home and business in order to make sure her husband could do his job without distraction or the stress that is usual in a growing family.
Sophie started to feel like a trophy wife. She lost her sense of self. She learned to play the part so well that the world around them thought they had it all. Deep down Sophie felt like a fraud and she was desperate to maintain the facade. Always fearing that someone was just waiting in the shadows to take her place. When they were out in public, they both looked flawless and everyone admired them both.
Together, they looked like the perfect couple. ‘Picture Perfect’ were Sophie’s exact words. But the truth was, behind closed doors it was far from perfect. Sophie felt emotionally abandoned by her husband and as each day passed their marriage began to feel more and more like an arrangement. Sophie started to feel that their public profile became the focus of their relationship. All based on appearances…
Sophie’s husband did not look at her the way he used to, compounding the rejection and abandonment Sophie already felt. Somewhere, somehow, she had become an afterthought in this marriage and the only thing that seemed to matter now was how they were perceived by everyone around them.
Sophie’s self-esteem had taken a beating. Somewhere, somehow, she found herself living in the shadow of her successful husband and she had lost her sense of self. The worst thing was, Sophie didn’t even know when or how this happened.
When Sophie’s husband was at home, Sophie tried to make everything perfect, but it just seemed to turn into one drama after another. The little time her husband did spend at home became so stressful and always ended in tears. Although the kids were so excited to see their dad, they felt the tension around their dad. The enormity of his job made him quite stressed and impatient. Therefore, as you can imagine, being normal active kids, they responded to this tension by becoming irritable and naughty.
One day Sophie sat back and wondered where this all changed. One minute they were dreaming of the life they were now living, and before she knew it she had been caught up in this whirlwind of success and had no time to take a breath. During that time, Sophie became a shadow of her former self.
Who was she now? Sophie felt like a failure as a mum, a failure as a wife, and more than ever she started to feel like a failure as a person. She wasn’t, but the circumstances that surrounded her continually fed her the message that she wasn’t important, the only thing that seemed important to everyone was her husband and his career.
People no longer asked how she was, their first question was always about her husband. No-one listened to her, and she started to feel that people only wanted to know her because of her husband and his successful career.
Sophie completed the ‘find your light coaching program’ (FYLCP) and she hasn’t looked back. Sophie made a commitment to herself to do the inner work that was required for her to re-establish her self-confidence, reinvent her identity and sense of self.
Sophie loved her husband and her children very much. However, she realised the importance of finding her sense of self again and rebuilding her self- esteem. Sophie was committed to improving her relationship with her husband and getting her marriage back on track. Sophie knew that she was the key to changing her situation, because she knew that no matter what happened, she couldn’t go on the way she was for much longer.
Sophie started the ‘FYLCP’ and she began to see this situation was not her fault. She wasn’t a failure. Her husband’s public profile and his incredible success had overshadowed her. Living in this shadow compounded Sophie’s loss of identity, her depression and her loneliness.
Sophie soon realised that she had bought the lie that there was something wrong with her. She believed that she was a failure, however, the biggest lie she believed was the one that almost destroyed her, that was, ‘everything was her fault and that is why this was happening to her’. Yet, through ‘FYLCP’ Sophie began to see the truth of her situation.
WHO WAS SHE
THIS IS A STORY OF
Sophie’s story is one of coming out of the shadows and finding herself again. It is a story of triumph and personal achievement. Sophie worked very hard to address the mindsets that kept her trapped. The astounding thing for Sophie was she had no idea this situation was occurring; it was a bit like the analogy of the boiling frog.
The analogy of the boiling frog explains that a frog can basically be boiled to death if you put it in cold water and slowly turn the heat up. They don’t notice the subtilty of the heat increase because it is slow, and before they know it the water is boiling, and they boil to death.
Through the ‘FYLCP’, Sophie developed effective communication skills, healthy boundaries, strong self-esteem, and the confidence to be herself again without fear. Sophie learned to express her needs with confidence.
Sophie was able to say no without feeling guilty, and most importantly she began to feel people around her start looking at her with a different level of respect. (Something she noticed had disappeared over the last few years).
After completing the ‘FYLCP’ when Sophie is out, she feels authentic and genuinely happy. Sophie no longer feels like her life and marriage is a façade that she needs to play along with, so their public image doesn’t suffer. How she feels, and how she acts now comes from her heart and it is real.
Sophie’s husband looks at her with a new found respect because during the process of working on herself, he began to really take notice of her in a way he hadn’t in years. Sophie really felt like he started to remember what it was he loved about her in the beginning of their relationship.
Sophie holds herself with confidence now and even finds herself supporting others who she can see are feeling the way she used to. Sophie couldn’t be happier, and her marriage is as strong as ever. It wasn’t easy, but she worked really hard to turn things around – and she did.
Sophie completed the ‘FYLCP’ and she hasn’t looked back. Sophie set short-term and long-term goals for her future, and step by step strategies were developed to assist her to achieve these personal and professional short-and long-term goals.
Interestingly, during the goal setting phase of ‘FYLCP, Sophie remembered a dream she held in her heart for many years. Sophie had always wanted to be a make-up artist and have her own business. To realise this goal Sophie needed to get trained, so she applied to go to a private college to complete the training required to become a certified make-up artist.
Through the ‘FYLCP’ step by step Sophie was able to address the many areas that were getting her down. She emerged from the program with a strengthened sense of self and a restored self-esteem. Sophie is thriving in her mind, body, and soul. Her relationships are fulfilling, and she is genuinely happy.