“Every new day is another chance to change your life.”
- Unknown -
As long as you have breath in you, it is never too late to start your life over. It is never too late to rebuild your life and become the person you dream of being. When life forces you to your knees and you are at the mercy of everything that is happening to you, instead of leading the way, look at it as an opportunity to recreate your life with a more solid and whole foundation.
Have you ever asked “How did I get here!?!” There are moments in life where you come to the realisation “I don’t like the life I am living!”. This can be a scary place to find yourself in.
Thoughts begin to circle like; “How did I get here?” and more importantly “How do I get OUT of here?”
Your own life can start to feel like a hamster wheel, or worse, a prison cell. The truth is YOU have the keys within you to make the changes you need to, to live the life you dream of.
Here are 7 steps that can help you navigate the process of how to start over in life:
1. Determine your motivation.
Before starting any journey, it is essential that you evaluate what is motivating you to want change. Motivation can either come from within us or from the influence of an outside source. Often outside motivation will revolve around others and their happiness. You want to check that your motivation comes from within as this is the kind of motivation that most likely ends with you feeling genuinely happy. Sometimes we make personal changes for ourselves, and sometimes we feel pressured to make changes for other people. Think about why you want to change. Is it for you, or for someone else?
2.Consider whether you have recently experienced any major life events that are affecting you.
Understanding your current mental state and life situation, can bring a well rounded perspective. If you don’t like your life because of a recent traumatic experience or if you are simply bored with the constant repetitive nature of your life, then your approach to dealing with things will be different. Evaluate what current events in your life might have triggered your need to start over.
3.Examine your past.
“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” ― Edmund Burke
I don’t believe we need to dwell on the past, but I do think there are important lessons we can learn from it. If we choose to suppress or ignore our own personal history we can miss out on valuable lessons that can be used to make us stronger and lead us on a healthier path.
Holding on to the past can be a conscious decision just as much as letting go and moving forward can be a conscious decision. Evaluate what areas of your past are impacting you today and your current state and choose what you will do with that knowledge to empower you and make a better future.
4.Examine your values.
Values guide our behavior, providing us with a personal code of conduct. More often than not what we think are our values, are actually ideals that the surrounding media, society and culture have subconsciously conditioned us to believe. Most people don’t actually really know their own values. It is easy to list off things you should value but it still doesn’t articulate what your values are. By digging deep you may discover that your value system is one reason why you are unhappy today. For example, you may believe that people are valuable and it’s important to dream, but when you examine your true value system, you actually believe that you yourself are not valuable and you don’t deserve to dream. There is a difference between the values we think we believe the ones that are actually manifesting in our day to day lives. Quite often our actions will show what we really value. So what are 5-10 deep seeded values and how do you think they are affecting your current state of mind?
5.Decide how big of a change you want to make.
Before you go to a hairdresser, you more often than not know if you are transforming your look or whether you are just having a minor tweak and trim. This idea should also be applied to your life. Do you want a trim or a transformation? Neither is right or wrong, it is all based on personal preference. Sometimes we think we need to change everything, but by making a small tweak such as going for a 30 minute walk every morning could change your whole projection of your life, simply because a healthy lifestyle will change your outlook to be more positive. However, if big changes is what you need, then understanding that will help you with the next step.
6. Set goals.
It’s no secret that setting goals is important and it is especially important in your process to start over in life. Goal setting directs you from being a passive participant in your life, to becoming an active driver in your life.. The last 5 steps have been about diving deep into your current state of mind and history. This step is about deciding where you want to go and how you will go toward success. Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years or even next week?
7. Action time.
Now it’s time to walk toward those goals you set in step 6. It’s time to bring your goals to life and the only way to do this is one step at a time. I would recommend making the steps simple. Each day set a new simple target and then the next day set a new target again. Make the targets achievable and celebrate when you reach one of your goals. Remember also to have grace on yourself when you miss the mark or have a bad day. Change is hardly ever immediate, but gradual.
For whatever reason you found yourself here today, I want you to know you are valuable! You are worth the effort to reach and achieve your dreams! And remember, you have the keys to start your life over today!
If you struggle with mind health, you don’t have to be alone with it. My company exists to help and coach women like you, through the hardships of life. I want to see you whole and living your potential. Check out my coaching options along with other helpful resources from here.